When Should I Say "I Love You"?

We are together for about one month, when he suddenly says to me: I love you. I don't know what to say. The first thing that I think is: I don't. Finally, I answer: I'm in love with you, too. 

When's the right time to say "I love you"? Finding the right moment can be quite tricky. You don't want to say it too soon and you also don't want to hear "But I don't love you". 

In the scenery described above, I felt really uncomfortable. He was my first boyfriend (the one that broke up with me via Facebook one month later) and I didn't want to something wrong or hurt him... But I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. I liked him, a lot, and I was in love. But I didn't love him because the period that we knew each other had been way too short to develop even a tiny bit of mature love. 

In my current relationship, we first said "I love you" after 15 months. I wanted to be really sure and I wanted to be completely honest. When I said it I really meant it. 

So  here are my thoughts on how to determine whether it's the right moment or not!

Listen to you doubts

Do you feel like it's the right moment? If you're insecure or you don't feel like you know your partner enough to say "I love you and everything you are", then don't say it. If your feelings are unstable and one moment you feel totally in love, but the next, you don't know, don't say it.

Love isn't just a feeling, it's an action

Many people think of love only as a feeling. They will cheat on you, lie to you or hurt you and then they'll tell you that "this doesn't mean anything because I love you". 
If you aren't able to make love an action, your words are meaningless. So when you say "I love you", be aware of the fact that you're making a promise. The promise to treat your partner with kindness and respect, to serve him in the best way you can. 

Saving it for a special occasion

Another idea would be to save these three words for a special occasion: your anniversary, engagment or maybe even your wedding day? Or, a little less formal, when you're spending a romantic evening together. 

These were my thoughts on this issue :) 

How long would you or did you wait until you said "I love you"?


  1. I had a friend whose boyfriend said "I love you," and she didn't know what to say so she just stares at him for a while then says, "Thank you!"

    I definitely agree that love isn't only a feeling; it's action as well. I love the description of love in 1 Corinthians 13.

    Apparently it was awkward. :P


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